see all that surrounds me. inadequate like a fish out of water. I cannot match up to my surrounding. am i truly just re-enforcing my lack of productivity as a term of self-discovery and learning? why do i yearn to join the rat race i so desperately struggled to escape? i took pride in my idiosyncrasy. yet now i feel a need to conform to the norm i so despise. this half assed life i have now is shaking me to my very core. a path curved and uneven. that is what i chose. with no clear destination. why do i envy a straight and boring path that leads me to where i don't want to be? do i really know what i want. or is the degree of my uncertainty blinding the vision of my final destination?
